Before you clicked on this blog post to read it, you may have read the title and already felt some hostility depending on which side of the “vs.” you are on.
I’ve often been asked, are you happy that you are a stay at home mom? And although there are days, sometimes hours within my days, where I would contemplate running away screaming, begging for the first company, who is hiring, to pick me up, or find myself in a little ball in the corner in tears, the answer is yes, I am happy being a stay-at-home mom.
Although I have been blessed, to own my little company, and work from home, part-time, I often find that there is so much hostility and negative judgment that goes on between the working and non-working mothers.
It’s human nature to feel envious or resentful towards others. Whether you work full-time, part-time, or stay-at-home, motherhood is always going to be synonymous with guilt. I can’t stand the comments and the banter that is made on why one mother is better than the other. It’s like a boxing match of hurtful comments.
If you go to work, it’s for a reason, maybe to pay the bills, maybe to climb the corporate ladder, or maybe even for sanity and just doing something for you. All mothers make sacrifices for their families. Stay-at home moms may be sacrificing a career that they once loved. I hate the perception that stay-at-home moms do nothing all day, or have it easy, or that working moms care more about their careers than their families. These comments are extremely hurtful, and mothers in general need to start being less critical of others. I don’t think life is easy for any mom.
Being a mother, is single-handedly, the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I’ve spent hours in tears, gone through bouts of depression, felt extremely isolated, overwhelmed and unappreciated. I’m sure having two babies at the same time, and no family close by, often intensified the situation, making me feel trapped, because it was just easier to stay home, then go out.
My point is, we are all under pressure to be super mom. We are all trying to do what is best for our families and our children. Not everyone is able to make the decision to stay home or to go to work. Some moms may have made one decision but now wish they could do the opposite.
If you are not physically with your kids, you are worrying about them. Working moms may face the challenge of transitioning to the parenting role when they come home and stay-at-home moms may struggle to break the monotony of day-to-day life, which is the same routine, seven days a week.
I just want to live in a world without all the hate, resentment, negativity, and hostility. We are so quick to judge another mother, whom we barely even know, because she has chosen another path in life, or maybe that path has chosen her.
We are moms. We all have something in common. We all live in guilt. We all wonder if we are doing the right thing, but most importantly, whether we work or stay-home, we will always be super mom in the eyes of our children. I think we can all agree that those are the eyes that matter the most.
Whether you go into the office, or stay home with your kids, we all wear the red cape that says Super Mom. I don’t like being categorized as “working mom” or “non-working mom,” because those titles bear judgment, which leads to automatic hostility. No matter what you do, when it comes to your family, you will always be… “Mom.”