Hippo Brigade

Meatmares

About 6 weeks ago I decided to become vegan.

Because I want to be difficult.

Because I want people throwing parties to say, ” Do we have to invite Beckey? UGH! Well, if we have absolutely must, she can bring her own food, because this party is all about cheesy beef. And I’m not making a salad.”

And that’s fine. Because I like being difficult.

Especially if it’s at my mom’s expense.

Lately, she’s asking me all these food questions. Like,  ”If you’re not eating meat and cheese, what ARE you eating?” And “What about iron?” Or “Beckey! How are you getting calcium if you’re not drinking any milk??”

But she doesn’t really want to hear the answer, because I’ll start to say, “Actually mom, a plant-based diet is rich in calcium, more so than animal products. Did you know that animal products actually deplete calcium in your bones? Yes there is calcium in milk, but it takes more calcium out of your body just to digest it. Crazy, huh?”

And then my mom just rolls her eyes.

Mainly because she stopped listening when I started spewing facts.

I’m still new at this and I’d definitely say that I’m in the dating stage of veganism. We’re not mutually exclusive, I’m still trying to navigate all of veganism’s weird quirks and every once in a while I like to see other people.

Like fish. I like to see fish once in a while.

And Farmer’s Market eggs are my booty call.

But dairy is completely out of the picture.

And cows, pigs, and chickens are out too.

The crazy part is how my body feels about all this:

First I got a cold…maybe it was coincidence?

My skin was clearer for about a week, but then broke out in giant cystic zits.

I lost 4 pounds right away.

I have more way energy, as a matter of fact, I’m jumping rope right now.

Before all this, I’d get a migraine a week, but I haven’t had one yet. I’ve had a few headaches here and there, but no migraines.

I had a lighter period with virtually no cramping.

and I sleep better.

OH! And speaking of sleep, I’ve been dreaming about meat. That’s right, almost every night when I go to bed, I close my eyes and snuggle my pillow, and dream of pork; whole chickens float around, steaks fly, crumbled sausage rains from the sky.

While I’m awake, I want nothing to do with it, but apparently my subconscious wants meat!

Perhaps it’s all part of the detoxifying process. Maybe it’s the seedy underbelly of detox that no one tells you about, because if you knew that meat would invade your dreams, you might not go through with it.

Meatmares? No thank you, you’d say, and briskly walk away.

And who could blame you?

But if you are interested in eating less meat (and dairy), and I think we’d all benefit from that, you can start with Meatless Mondays. That’s where I started, and there isn’t any detox process you’ll go through if you just give it up one day a week, I promise, no meatmares.

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